Workplace Personalities

Workplace Personalities:

While every office has the gossiper, the complainer, the overachiever, and the bragger, there are also common personas that people often forget about. I decided to list those crazy, yet sometimes amusing personalities that add annoyance and/or entertainment during those long eight hours we spend at work.

#1.  The Loud Talker:
This person thinks that their 4x4 cube with half wall partitions is a sound proof booth while the whole office can hear every conversation they are having. Work related and personal. So do everyone a favor, talk softly. Or if it's a personal call you're likely to be excited about, take it outside on your cell phone. No one cares about the bad haircut your friend Sue just got, or the super cute waiter you had at lunch. 

#2. The 4:30 Social Butterfly:
While the clock is slowly ticking down to closing time they start walking around wanting to chit chat. So as you are trying to finish up for the day and get the heck out of there at 5pm sharp you are forced to have a mindless conversation about your weekend plans and pretend to be listening to theirs.

#3. The Crazy Pen Person:
That person who hunts down their pens if they are missing. If you are at their desk and pick one up just to jot something down quickly they watch your every move getting more and more antsy until you have put the pen back. And if you start  to walk away they'll chase you down calmly (and somewhat aggressive and scary) saying "That's my pen!"

#4. The Lunch Bunch:
Cafeterias are not just intimidating in high school. Even at our workplace there is that clique that always sits together in the break room. They sit in the same seats, at the same table, with the same people everyday.  They get suddenly very quiet anytime someone walks in. Not making any eye contact with you or acknowledging your existence for fear you'll take it as an invitation to join their table. This person is also a member of the Lounge Lizards. The group that congregates around the coffee maker for a large portion of their day. If you cannot find one of these people chances are they are sharing a recipe or a movie review in the break room. 

#5. The Beauty Queen:
She dresses immaculately everyday. Her hair is perfect, her high heels look incredibly painful and at some point during the day you'll walk past her office and catch her putting lip gloss on.

#6. The Gambler:
The guy who runs every basketball, football, baseball or even rugby pool. The guy  who wants to bet with you the over/under on a basketball game just for a chance for a free chipotle burrito. They stalk you with constant emails of updates about the fantasy draft or the blind number pick for the Kentucky Derby. He finds a way to make anything into a contest costing just a dollar or two, and yet you usually give in. Has anyone ever checked to make sure all the money is accounted for? We seem to fork over a few bucks pretty easily to a man that should be working instead of calculating the odds on the Super Bowl.

#7. The Germ-a-phob:
The endless supply of hand sanitizer on their desks, the lysol wipes in their drawer, and even their morning ritual of wiping down their phone. If they hear you sneeze they won't come near you all week.

#8. The Sick Day King:
The guy who takes so many sporadic sick days you find yourself adding up in your mind how much vacation time he must get!

#9. The Baker:
The one person everyone loves. They bring in some delicious treat they've cooked up at least once a week. There usually isn't a reason for it, but no one ever complains.

#10. The Person with EVERYTHING  in their Office:
Tylenol, Tums, Advil, hairspray, safety pins, bandaids, extension cords, heating pad, and lotion, just to name a little bit of their inventory. This is the place everyone turns when they need something they don't have. The random, odd things no one would ever think of, this person has them. And oddly enough they are neatly stored in their little office. Which leaves us thinking not only "I can't believe they had that!" but also, "How do hey have the room for all this shit?!"